Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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