I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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