if you like me you must not know who I am
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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