I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
