He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
