forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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