I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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