You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
