I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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