a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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