do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
