OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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