miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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