Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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