so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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