ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
