Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
