woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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