I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
