I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
