I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
