My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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