How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just saw a hot homeless man
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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