garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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