I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
