On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
