dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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