What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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