You can't motorboat a personality
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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