If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
