How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
