I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
