just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
