The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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