You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
