These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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