Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
