I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
