My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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