I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
