I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
