My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize