She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
