ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
