My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
