You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
