I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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