I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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