Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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