Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
