If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
