I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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