I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
