Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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