dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
