she peed on how many people?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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