This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
