Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
