last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
