but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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