Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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