in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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