remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
