the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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