Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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