I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
