Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
