He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
