If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
