what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
