I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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