youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
